X's and O's

 Stream of consciousness writing January 2004 (edited and formatted)

Begin. Be gentle, go slow. Baby steps, tip toe, tip toe. TicTacToe.  #  X's and O's  Hugs and kisses from an absent mother. Always a note, so I will always know.

"Don't be afraid, I will be back soon XXX OOO." 

One for each of us.  I didn't know, thought they were all for me (or if you were reading all for you.)  

X's are kisses, this is the love, the exuberant, messy "I don't care who knows".  But kisses can leave me cold. There are just too many ways to mess them up. Too slobbery, too hard, like a peck from a chicken, chapped lips, bad breath, have good aim or you'll kiss someone's nostril. The intimacy of allowing someone's lips to touch yours. Your breath, your words come out from your lips. Sustainance, food, drink pass through them. Such a symbolic area. Reserved for VIPS. Unless I have bad breath.
But the O's, the O's were for hugs, the quiet, the strong, wrapping around and holding me up. O's  can be anytime, happy, sad, anytime, long, short, soft, hard, half, whole, A frame, patting the back, side by side, heart to heart.  So versatile, those O's.  I liked them better, I knew I was loved with those.





Love, 
     Mom
     XXX
     OOO

Yoda Was Kinda Mean

"Do or do not.  There is no try."  -Yoda

I've seen this around for years and years and years and years.  It has been paraphrased all over the place, interpreted as having different meanings, depending on the context.
Here are some i.e.'s I see:

If you're going to fail, don't waste my time.

You either can or you can't, don't waste my time.

It's up to you, don't waste my time.

Trying is for losers, don't waste my time.

If you are unsure of your abilities, don't waste my time.

The learning curve is for sissies, don't waste my time.

Now, if Yoda, the Jedi Master of all masters, teaches this way...fine (because he's YODA and because he's muppet), but in real life, with real people, with real consequences, with real reality.... this is not cool.  Shaming, discouraging, and negative reinforcement are the teaching tools of bullies, the lazy and the incompetent.  Teaching is not a by-product of knowledge.  Just because someone is an expert in their field it is no guarantee they know how to teach it.
To teach is a skill (or talent) in and of itself.  Some people are naturals, some people learn it, some people are not good at it; just like singing, drawing, mechanics, languages, math, etc.  Teaching something based on your knowledge is an action performed.  It is what you say in answer to "Whacha doing?"  The two things are not mutually inclusive.  (i.e. just because you CAN do something does not mean you are good at it)
Is this all semantics?  Not in my world.  Not in the world where people's lives are altered because of that one teacher.  Not in the world where acceptance speeches are given and a TEACHER is most often thanked.  Not in my world, where my mother was a kindergarten teacher.  And who's former students, when realizing who I am, tell me how much they remember and loved her.  She died 27 years ago, so these are people who are long out of school.  So if a teacher can make a difference in a 6 year olds life, just think what a good teacher can do in an adult's life and what a bad teacher can do in a teenager's life.
So Mr. Yoda, big cultural icon master of all philosophy, I sure hope you didn't mean any of those things I listed above when you left your indelible stamp on the world. "Do or do not.  There is no try."   Because how will we know if we don't at least try?






i.e. id est, that is to say or in other words

Condensed Milk

So maybe not condensed milk but here is my thought process:  over on FB I indulge in my fascination with words by periodically posting archaic/obscure/long/fun to say out loud words.  Since I haven't posted here recently, here is a condensed list of those words.  Feel free to use them in a sentence if you'd like:


ennui
soporific
trifecta
tympanometry
portmanteau
pinguecula
speculoos




This is my egress for today.

And Yet More Proof

What is happening here?  Have I crossed over into the twilight zone?  Do I resemble foie gras?  Here was the scenario:


1. Pre-existing drama in group A.
2. Poor parenting guidance in group A.
3. Repeat of bad behavior of a minor in group A.
4. Request from group B to correct this.
5. Group A's dysfunctional communication cause misinformation.
6. Clash occurs between members of group A and group B.
7. Apparently, I am the only voice of reason on the whole block, but no one will stfu long enough to listen.


I stood between someone who's position was to keep asking a loaded question and someone who position was of the excluded middle.  I mean that literally, I physically stood between them as they repeated the same arguments at each other.  My repeated phrase was "stop", "STOP", "STOP!".  But no one listened.  I knew which direction to go in to solve this thing and it was as if I were invisible.  When I was finally able to get a word in, I pulled out the facts.  The series of events that took place.  The ultimate goal was to stop the kid from throwing rocks.  In the end, its was resolved peacefully between the two arguing adults.  All's well that ends well?  


Not quite.  


The fall out was that  an 8 year old boy was reduced to tears and I was left with the disturbing feeling that I am inconsequential.  





:-x

Too Many To Count

Well, not really...I am prone hyperbole.  I just finished a letterbox to plant.  Was this cause for joy and celebration?  Yes and no.  I love the feeling of putting those final touches on the box and knowing it is good to go.  I know where I want to plant it.  Not the EXACT location for the box, but the place I want to take people.  So that is the "yes" part.  The "no" part is that this little box now joins an ever growing pile of completed boxes clamoring to be planted. 
I have no real excuse or reason.  The weather's been fine, there has been time available.  What's the hitch???  The short answer is:  me.  The long answer is:  I have discovered I get a little particular (or as it is said in the modern vernacular:  anal) when it come to planting.  The place has to be appropriate to the box... the actual spot needs to be accessible but discrete... exposure both to prying eyes and the elements has to be considered.   Are all these things ABSOLLUTLY necessary?  The short answer is: no.  The long answer is:  apparently in my mind, yes.  (Okay, that is not really a long answer, but it is more than the first monosyllabic one.  Semantics, semantics!)  This is not to mention the stamps in progress, plus the ones in my head, not to mention the spots picked but no stamp image in mind yet. 
I'm not sure how to get over this hurdle, but I better figure it out soon or I will be overwhelmed with waiting boxes.  Although I suppose there are worse things in the world to contend with.  Or is this just another case of "kitty mittens"!?


^..^

US vs THEM (or the myth of "muggles")

I have noticed that almost every "group" I have encountered recently (regardless of if I am a part of it or not) uses a specific term to mean "those who are not us".  Depending on the group, the term varies...however, recently "muggle" seems to be the favored word.  (I've also heard "turkey", "mundane", etc.)  For the most part, and this is what disturbs me, the term usually indicates that "those who are not us" are somehow lesser.  Not simply "different", they are somehow "not as good as."   So even if that is not the actual sentiment the term used implies it.  I see adults, fully formed human beings, morphing into cliques reminiscent of adolescents.  I'm not sure what bothers me more, the fact that the US vs. THEM attitude is so common or that people don't realize there is something dysfunctional about it.  (I won't go into my dislike of the "functional dysfunctional" myth.  Um, ick...)   Seems like I see microcosms of the wider world everywhere, and ultimately we are all more similar that we'd like to believe.  And that is not a bad thing...


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