Boom

I live about 3 miles from the gas line explosion in San Bruno.  I could see the smoke (but not the fireball) from my driveway.  I am haunted by knowing all those people went through something unimaginable.  I wonder what would I have done?  Froze?  Panicked?  Think clearer than normal?  What would I have done with (fill in the blank)?  That pipeline, that old 1948 pipeline, that pipeline that PGE knows has serious issues, makes it way north from San Bruno,  It splits off from its route along Junipera Serra to drop down Avalon, cross El Camino (around SSF HS, I believe and my most, all time favorite place to go recently...Eggettes) and runs parallel to El Camino by the Kaiser and BART....I stopped looking at the map at that point.  We are bordered on three side by this aging pipeline that PGE has sent Memo's about.  The same pipeline that erupted with sudden violence and forced a neighborhood to flee while their skin blistered and burned and their house turned in to ashy piles of memories more often than not with a red brick finger of a chimney pointing at the empty sky.  I wrote on my Facebook status "Fear = the great equalizer" and people hijacked my posting and began to wax philosophical about fear and ignorance and prejudice and I wanted to say "blahblahblahblahblah".  No disrespect intended, impatience and frustration yes.  I had to make myself clear and said... I'm not talking about that kind of fear, I'm talking about the "Ohmygod, ohmygod, what do I do?!" life and death kind of fear.  Because no matter who you are, what you own, how much you make or how much you owe, who your parents are, what your religion, race or dress size is...when it comes down to real, honest to goodness FEAR  we are all equal and speaking the same language.  It's a terrible thing, fear.  Necessary, but terrible.  And in the end we are all just living organisms fighting to survive in this dangerous world.   The crushing truth is, some of use make it and some of us don't.  And that is weighing heavy on my heart these days.





Who's name is pulled from your gut and spoken aloud when you think you are going to die?