Natural High

Generally, the phrase "natural high" is used in a positive, life affirming way.  Well, I experienced a REAL natural high a few days ago and believe-you-me it was not necessarily pleasant.  This "natural" high was due to sleep deprivation.  I've dealt with insomnia over the past mumble years, every now and again I have what I've nicknamed "monster insomnia".  It is the kind where I am NOT sleepy at all...all night long...until about 6am.  It is weird.   So, I've been toodling along the past several months with only mild to moderate insomnia and then got hit with the "monster".  I felt totally normal all night, didn't feel sleepy at 5 or 6am like I usually would.  I figured I'd just go along with my day until I got sleepy.  Fast forward to about 8am and I am completing Christmas gifts for my nieces (yes, I said Christmas.  I procrastinate, so sue me.)  I scanned recipe's that my mother wrote down on index cards and a bunch of photo's of her and put it all together into a cookbook for my nieces.  So there I was kneeling on the floor using the gadgets to punch holes and bind them when I was slowly overtaken by a strange feeling.  Not really a sleepy feeling, but kind of.  But also, a high feeling like I was drugged, not not really.   I really wanted to finish the cookbooks and be done with it so I kept going.  The feeling got stronger and stronger until I almost felt like I was going to fall over (even though I was still kneeling on the floor).  After I finished binding the last one, I had a moment of clarity and thought "Criminy, I better go to sleep before something bad happens."  I left everything where it was and made a bee line to bed.  I only slept 3 hours and kept waking up with that very strange "high" feeling.  Eventually it went away and went on with my day.  I now have a whole new take on that phrase "natural high".  When used figuratively it is a lovely thing.  When used literally it is not pleasant.  I now understand why sleep deprivation is used as torture.



Say good night Gracie!

Bunny Years

I have gotten through another December.  This one didn't numbered among the worst, but there certainly have been better.  I've never been a fan of the whole New Year's Day thingy, in fact I came upon the realization that the Monday after Christmas has always felt more like the beginning of the next "year".  I don't suppose I would ever be able to convince the rest of the world to change the calender....  A girl can dream though.  There is one thing that stands in the way of any "new beginning", a minor thing in and of itself, but everything hinges on it. Every now and again, with no discernible pattern, my blood tests come back with an elevated tumor marker.   Every time, the follow up test shows it is back down. The extra concern is that this is the highest it has ever been elevated.  "That's all I have say about that." (said like Forrest Gump).  There is another New Year coming up soon, the Year of the Hare begins soon and I just so happen to be a Hare! 


It's a bunny, I'm a bunny, wouldn't you like to be a bunny, too!