Ch-ch-ch-changes

Some people never change.  And some change constantly. Me, I change in these small bursts irregularly spaced through out my life. Not all change is good, nor is it bad.  And I've had chunks of both. Some people don't want you to change, even if it is better for you to do so. And maybe those people don't want to be "your people" anymore. They may not like the newer you, and sometimes the newer you may not like them anymore. Sometimes the parting is mutual, but usually it is not. So, I have changed a lot through my life, both for the better and for the worse. I have lost some good people and shed some bad. Ultimately I am the sum of my experiences, but "non sum qualis eram", loosely translated "I am not who I once was". And that, my dear, is simply reality. And I choose to see it. 

Turn and face the strange

The Smallness of the World

Coincidence? Or not. You be the judge.

There are these ideas of "pay it forward" and "random acts of kindness".  I try to participate in these when I can.  But this isn't about tooting my own horn. This isn't about me at all. It's about the how it all happened. So in that spirit....

I try to make it a habit that when I donate to someone I know on Go Fund Me, I find a stranger to donate to also. I don't chose someone haphazardly, usually I look through the creative category or the "near me" filter. I scan the funds and find something that resonates with me. A dancer with a scholarship to the Alvin Ailey school. An independent film maker invited to show at a film festival in Europe. A woman with health issues living in my city fixing an old car as therapy (same model car as the first car I bought).
This time I start with the "near me" filter and scan through several pages, click on a handful of "read more" buttons, looking for one that just "feels right".  The only thing that makes me click on this particular one is their first name...Kitten.  Not strictly local, it's in SF...but close enough to check out anyway.   A story of starting over, in a safe place, away from an unsafe situation. It stirs enough in me to check out any links to get a further feel of "rightness". There is a link to a Facebook account, so I click and read about his story, snooping through the public posts. There is a lot of love and support being offered and appreciated, so far so good, but I'm still not convinced this is the "right" one. I see a comment, a rather blunt one, in a tough-love kind of way. It's from a person with a very common last name, but a little unusual of a first name. It is also the name of someone I was acquainted with (but not FB friends with), funny that there might be two of them. I don't for a second think it might actually be the same person.  But then I glance at the "Friends" list and see that Kitten and I do have a mutual friend. And because of how small the world is, and because our mutual friend once did a cancer run event in my honor, and because our mutual friend passed away much too young, and because I went to a memorial service this past weekend for another woman who passed away much too young because of cancer, I give a small donation to help Kitten with his new life.






Life is not a Disney ride

Nice People

I have become a rather cynical (dare I say bitter) old bitch as I have gotten older. Pain, disappointment and betrayal will do that to you.  I see myself going down this unhappy, but most of the time amusing, road.  Then along comes a Nice Person.  Well dadgummit, you just ruined it, didn't you?  

I planted a letterbox in Hawaii a couple of years ago, in a very urban, busy, indoor location.  I didn't expect it to last long.  I had such a wonderful time that trip, I got to see my brother and his family for the first time in 10 years (they live in Germany)  I got to meet my very first great-niece and see my niece (her husband was stationed there) being a fantastic mother.  I went with my sister who I hadn't gone on a trip with in a million years, and we got along the WHOLE time.  Plus.... I was in Hawaii!  So, this box has a little bit of a special meaning to me.  I didn't expect it to be visited so much, to the point I was getting notes saying the log book was getting full.  My niece has since moved on to Georgia, so I couldn't ask her to help out.  I figured why not just ask a fellow boxer who lives in the city and who has found the box already.  I contacted Morgan Family Hunters introducing myself and asking if they would send me the box, then replace it when I send it back.  SMACK!   I ran right into a Nice Person.  Not only was she happy to help out, she told me what that box means to them.  Oh, the warm fuzzies peeked out of my bitter heart.  Quick as a flash she sent it to me with a lovely, lovely note and a package of chocolate covered macadamia nuts.  Don't get me wrong, the candy was a sweet touch, but the note was better.  It reminded me that Yes, Virginia, There is Such a Thing as Nice People.  Lookee, warm fuzzies exploding all over!  I'm almost finished with the box and I will send it back to her and it will once again be in place.  But no sweet treat I send back to her can compete with the gentle uplift she has given me...simply by being nice.

There are even fuzzies in my navel.

Cheers!

I created a cocktail out of the leftover alcohol  I found stashed in the house.  Its been so long since I've mixed a drink I have no sense of proportion.  So, it's written in my own vernacular, alter to suit your taste.


Gotelli Hammer*
¾ glass tangerine juice from Trader Joe's
1 huge splash of Absolut Citron
1 small drizzle of Orange Curacao
1 smaller drizzle of Kirschwasser


Raise a toast to absent neighbors.  Add more tangerine juice.   Ahhhhhh!








*You know... instead of a Screwdriver.